Guest contribution by Ilias S.
Things not going your way? StandWithUs knows how you feel. Lucky for you, they’ve given us a model for how to cope. So if you ever find yourself coming up short like all the time, follow these ten simple steps!
Step 1: Accept the fact that you are losing
… and come up with the fully thought-out idea of announcing it on YouTube.
Step 2: Visit thesaurus.com
… and come up with as many dramatic ways of saying the same thing as possible.
Step 3: Capitalize on racial stereotypes
… because obviously there is nothing in the world as underplayed as footage of an angry Arab.
Step 4: Now take it one step further
… and include the token “Allahu Akbar!” footage (which actually isn’t a bad idea if you’re shooting for support from the United States and other places run by prejudiced white men).
Step 5: Include a narrator who occasionally stumbles on his words
… because nothing says pizzazz like a person who can’t read, speak, and look into a camera at the same time.
Step 6: Call your enemy a hate group
… and complain about being called a hate group.
Step 7: Showcase some of the work your opposition is up to
… so you can get others to wonder why they aren’t involved in such awesome work.
Step 8: Quote an anonymous complaining dude
… because this move hasn’t been used on us before.
Step 9: Come up with a dramatic title
… and even though it won’t catch the attention of your intended audience, at might catch ours.
Step 10: Realize you are fighting a losing battle
… and just hope for the best.
While you’re at it, you should know that StandWithUs also thought this was a good idea: Captain Israel vs. BDS the Barbaric Destroyer Snake.
Ilias S. is a student activist studying bioethics.