Whoever is behind StandWithUs’s Twitter account made my evening. Thanks for the laughs. Here are five of some of StandWithUs’s expert tweeter’s latest tweets.
The funny thing about this tweet is its comma placement. It reads as if it were a message signed, sincerely of course, by Hamas. Clearly, StandWithUs’s expert tweeter is not a grammarian. But, who, am, I, to, judge?
Update: StandWithUs never responded to my tweet asking them to correct me if I was wrong in saying that Israel controls Gaza’s air space, two land borders, and one sea border, while also negotiating control with Egypt over its fourth border. Instead, its expert tweeter told me that I’m bad at English and then gave me the “professionalism” talk.
Actually, that’s exactly what it is. Since the structure is apparently mostly made of fencing, common sense says that there are gaps and spaces wide enough to let air in. So, special thanks to StandWithUs for the air circulation. But if the group is really that much of a stickler for terminology, “fresh air prison” might work just as well. Also, as a side note, how did StandWithUs manage to throw in such a dramatic hashtag?
Well, allow me to give StandWithUs another special thanks for making the desert bloom. I wonder if StandWithUs knows that deserts are natural biomes, that they do not represent empty voids of wasted territory waiting patiently for someone to give it a tree or two. I also wonder if StandWithUs is ever going to publish statistics about the number of trees Israel has uprooted, particularly those belonging to Palestinian farmers and landowners. Maybe “do your research” isn’t part of the job description for StandWithUs’s expert tweeter.
Oh no! StandWithUs uncharacteristically misinterpreted something! Israel closed a probe into one specific air strike that killed 21 family members in their home. This is just one case, however, and no matter how hard StandWithUs tries to spin it, it does not translate to “IDF did not target civilians” because (according to documentation from, like, everywhere) it did, loads of times. It’s a comical relationship.
StandWithUs’s expert tweeter had me fooled for a second. I thought I was reading The Onion. But I mean, this makes total sense. The United States, which gives Israel billions in military aid, is the only likely candidate to gleefully do Israel’s bidding. If Israel wants a war, it’s only logical for its sense of entitlement to kick in and kindly demand the U.S. to take the lead. It’s a comical relationship.