Guest contribution by Bayan Founas

Dear women of the world,

I write to you today as a plea for help. You see I have a friend that needs our help as fellow sisters. Her name is Palestine. An oppressor has occupied her for 64 years now. His name is Israel. Now let me tell you about the awfully familiar relationship between these two.

Palestine calls me everyday to recount the abuses she is suffering. She’s too scared to live in her own home in fear of the constant domestic violence she faces from Israel everyday. Someone told me she always wears long sleeves to cover the bruises on her arms, but we all know Israel is the perpetrator in tearing out her olive trees.

She tried explaining to me that she couldn’t simply sit and talk to him about it, so instead she tried defending herself. This hasn’t proved successful considering he’s been cheating by working out everyday at the gym, automatically making him stronger. His gym is called the United States. It has great reviews, providing the best workout guaranteed for life. Although his gym trainer knows he’s been using his muscles inhumanely, the trainer doesn’t seem to mind. The gym continued to train him even when they heard about the incident in the winter of 2008 when Israel punched Palestine so hard in the stomach she spit out over 1,400 pints of blood! You’d think any gym in its right mind would cancel its client’s membership but this one had no choice since it was being cut at the throat by Israel’s best friend, AIPAC (American Israel Public Affairs Committee). I asked Palestine her advice on how to cut ties between them; she said two words: Occupy AIPAC. [Read more...]