How to make a StandWithUs video in 10 easy steps

Guest contribution by Ilias S.

Things not going your way? StandWithUs knows how you feel. Lucky for you, they’ve given us a model for how to cope. So if you ever find yourself coming up short like all the time, follow these ten simple steps!

Step 1: Accept the fact that you are losing

… and come up with the fully thought-out idea of announcing it on YouTube.

Step 2: Visit thesaurus.com

… and come up with as many dramatic ways of saying the same thing as possible.

Step 3: Capitalize on racial stereotypes

… because obviously there is nothing in the world as underplayed as footage of an angry Arab.

Step 4: Now take it one step further

… and include the token “Allahu Akbar!” footage (which actually isn’t a bad idea if you’re shooting for support from the United States and other places run by prejudiced white men).

Step 5: Include a narrator who occasionally stumbles on his words

… because nothing says pizzazz like a person who can’t read, speak, and look into a camera at the same time.

Step 6: Call your enemy a hate group

… and complain about being called a hate group.

Step 7: Showcase some of the work your opposition is up to

… so you can get others to wonder why they aren’t involved in such awesome work.

Step 8: Quote an anonymous complaining dude

… because this move hasn’t been used on us before.

Step 9: Come up with a dramatic title

… and even though it won’t catch the attention of your intended audience, at might catch ours.

Step 10: Realize you are fighting a losing battle

… and just hope for the best.

While you’re at it, you should know that StandWithUs also thought this was a good idea: Captain Israel vs. BDS the Barbaric Destroyer Snake.

Ilias S.

Ilias S. is a student activist studying bioethics.

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Comments

  1. Yes, because making snarky top 10 lists will help bring people together and not alienate anyone at all. Good luck with that Nobel Peace Prize for your ability to put a few gifs and words together on a blog.

    You’re doing nothing but stirring the pot, you’re just as bad as the so-called “losing” party (which by the way, deciding that one can win or lose a battle of petty hatred via internet memes is an insult to the men, women, and children dying in a real live conflict happening overseas; THEY are the ones who are losing).

    You want to make a difference, Ilias? You want to be a hero? Reach out an open hand for peaceful dialogue. Make an effort to stand out from the bickering crowd. Otherwise, you have the credibility of a whiny 4 year old who didn’t get his way and blog posts like these will either disappear or just serve as more fuel to the hatred fire.

    I challenge you to be a diplomat, to bring people together instead of building a wedge between them. You are a human being, a person with a heart, and I have faith that you are capable of using your abilities to create more good in the world instead of perpetuating evil.

    • Dialogue doesn’t work because it assumes both sides are equal, on equal terms, and have equal concerns. How about Israel end its illegal occupation, stop its settlement building, stop detaining children, cut back on burning Palestinian trees and farmland, fairly prosecute settlers who attack Palestinians, etc.? How’s that for diplomacy?

  2. Haha wow look at these “progressives” proudly selling malicious lies about Israel to the public and making fun of an Israeli student for not speaking English up to their standards. I bet Haj Amin al-Husseini would be beaming with pride if he could see you now.

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